1. The person you are divorcing (and their family) will always be closely related to you through your children; every harsh word to or about your spouse (if not spoken in private to your confessor) is almost guaranteed to get back to them in some way and will ultimately hurt your children.
2. Consider everyone a potential witness against you.
3. Every negative thing you say (or said) or do (did) is almost certain to be used against you.
4. Do not share with your children the details about the divorce or your negative feelings about your spouse. They need stability more than ever during this time. Divorce is an adult matter, and your child is not your confidant. Children should never be placed “in the middle”, nor made to feel that they cannot be loyal to both their parents.
5. Do not be manipulated by your spouse’s behavior to act thoughtlessly or inappropriately. You’ll pay the price, not them.
6. Your spouse’s parents, family and friends’ first and ultimate loyalty will be with them. Don’t share information with them or test their loyalty.
7. If you make a mistake with your spouse or children, apologize, and practice forgiveness, so you and your children may heal.
8. Set limits and enforce them for yourself and for your children.
9. Avoid alcohol, drugs and any other behavior which may impact on your parental fitness.
10. If in doubt, don’t do it and don’t say it. . . And always be in doubt.